Stories That Are Bad

The Sads

Thu, 18 Oct 2012 08:54:31 -0400

Then, in an instant, Timothy realized that all along he had been the split personality. He was the...

natethegif: Ok, so this isn’t a gif of me. It just happens to...

Tue, 11 Sep 2012 10:05:39 -0400

Ok, so this isn’t a gif of me. It just happens to be one of my favorite animated runcycles of all time ever in the history of all runcycles since forever. It’s from a short film by Adam Phillips.

LOOK HOW SQUISHY, GUYS.

Untitled 12b (or some other cleverly pretentious title)

Tue, 04 Sep 2012 08:23:12 -0400

* To the tune of “The Christmas Waltz” or if you’re really talented, “La...

Geese Lumps (aka "This Is Your Fault")

Tue, 28 Aug 2012 07:52:00 -0400

It was three days ago, just about 3:14 and 20 seconds in the afternoon. Eastern Pacific Time. You...

There's No Rest For The Cannibalistic

Mon, 20 Aug 2012 11:30:20 -0400

I spent the majority of yesterday evening this morning running to the edge of the middle of...

All Good Things Come To Those Who Are Worth Their Weight In Gold

Mon, 13 Aug 2012 11:27:07 -0400

The sign above the door read as follows: Hanksworth W. Britcheschaps, Mishap Collector. Normally I...

An Apple A Day Keeps You From Eating Less Than An Apple A Day

Sun, 05 Aug 2012 23:49:00 -0400

As I stood at the corner where two parallel roads met, I stopped for a minute to go where...

If life hands you limes, act confused.

Sun, 05 Aug 2012 23:47:00 -0400

Myself. An egg, dying. A wilted piece of a scythe.Have I, but not recently, upon the discovery of...

What Goes Around Might Be A Wheel

Sun, 29 Jul 2012 23:55:01 -0400

“Thanks, Bob.” I took the coffee from him and paid for it, then left the shop to go for...

a sad, poorly formatted, poorly capitalized, non-metered non-poem

Sun, 22 Jul 2012 23:58:09 -0400

jellyfish are by nature very unlucky because anything they try to love ends up getting injured or...

Raindrops Keep Falling On My In-Laws

Sun, 15 Jul 2012 23:53:59 -0400

The moon was very large that afternoon, and I distinctly remember it being rounded off at the...

You Shouldn't Mix Fairytales With Liverwurst And Buttermilk

Sun, 01 Jul 2012 23:52:00 -0400

I’ve half a mind not to write this story right now. Unfortunately for you lot, that half has...

Don't Count Your Chickens Before They EXPLODE

Sun, 24 Jun 2012 23:48:45 -0400

I had an epiphany about four seconds from now. That is, I have this bad habit of being interrupted...

Cheese And The Catholic Church Just Do Not Go Together...

Sun, 17 Jun 2012 23:54:00 -0400

I found myself eating some rather poorly prepared sushi in an upscale restaurant last night. This,...

Birds Of A Feather Flock To The Sandwich I'm Trying To Eat

Sun, 10 Jun 2012 23:59:20 -0400

What started off as a brilliantly unusual day at the carnival quickly lost its glamour when I...

A Bird In The Hand Is Worth Itself

Sun, 03 Jun 2012 23:55:33 -0400

Disclaimer: This story is an outright lie. Any similarity between its author and someone who tells...

A Rebel Without His Gauze

Sun, 27 May 2012 23:47:14 -0400

If I didn’t spend so much time wondering if I could ever learn first aid, I’d probably...

Actions Speak Louder Than Mutes

Mon, 21 May 2012 09:42:27 -0400

It was just another boring day in the office, and I was making my usual 8:01 am rounds when I...

A Penny Saved Is A Penny Saved. Or Is It The Other Way Around?

Tue, 15 May 2012 14:26:00 -0400

Apparently with the intention of looking like a buffoon, Jeffery set out today to become an...

Using Square-ular logic

Tue, 15 May 2012 10:26:31 -0400

I awoke tomorrow with the strange feeling that I could remember something that had happened today....