Birds Of A Feather Flock To The Sandwich I’m Trying To Eat
What started off as a brilliantly unusual day at the carnival quickly lost its glamour when I realized I wasn’t at the carnival. I was sitting in my basement, pretending to be a llama with a cold. Actually, I don’t even like the carnival that much.
But I digress… unless digress doesn’t mean what I think it means, which it probably actually does.
But I digress… again, only if it’s the right word…
Allow me, briefly, to interrupt myself.
Okay, I’m done now. Back to me.
*ahem*
Being a llama with a cold is about as much fun as pretending to be an ill farm animal, so I decided to play some gideo vames. I would have played a video game, but they’re too difficult when you’re suffering from dyslexia. So, gideo vames it was. Then I realized that gideo vames don’t exist.
I then drifted off to sea in the canoe I’d actually been in the entire time, and it was a very long four and a half second journey, let me tell you. Actually now you don’t have to, because I just did. Heheh… gotcha.
Anyway, I arrived at a desert island about ten feet offshore with a resounding “WHAP!”
“WHAP!”
Hey! Stop that! That isn’t what I meant by REsounding! Idiotic pun-goblin, jumping in and typing unnecessary stupidities into my otherwise worthless stories.
But I digress… and at some point will digress about digression. Seriously, though…
The desert island was very, very large. It was then I realized I’d landed on Australia, which had been covered in sand, and had actually been living on a three-foot diameter smaller outlying desert island for the entirety of my life up to this point. The only person in sight was a soldier, who was standing at the end of a line of many other soldiers, presumably part of a troop. The other soldiers, however, were hiding behind various pieces of jumbo-industrial sized platterware from a cheap catalogue that I’m sure some college-dropout-turned-hairstylist wannabe had dropped off about thirty seconds ago. I wouldn’t have ventured a guess quite so bold had I not suddenly noticed her walking away, thusly making her the second person in sight.
The commanding officer was tirelessly barking commands at the troops, but none of them were paying attention because, after all, he was only a terrier.
But I die…
Actually, guess what?
No, besides bicycles. This isn’t a story about ADD, you fool!
Errhuhuhh… Bleurugheghgheurgh Fizzleblort ffffffffffffffffffpshhhhhh
